Broforce

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IamLEAM1983
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Broforce

Post by IamLEAM1983 »

Take all of the eighties and nineties' action stars and smush them in a Contra-meets-Metal Slug setup. Whaddaya get? Only the slimmest and most utterly masculine game I've ever played in years, naturally! It's super small, super short, extremely to the point, and it's awesome.

It's called Broforce.

Developed by the indie developer Free Lives, Broforce is a deliberate mash-up of all the clichés that were so central to those twenty years of American big-budget filmmaking. There's no story, no setup – you simply are a bro, you have to free other bros and “liberate” an endless succession of tropical vistas in dire need of seeing a pixellated 'Murrican flag fly high in a couple places. The bros that aren't your bros are the bad bros – and you have to kill these. Violently. With lots of bullets and explosives.

See, playing as an American in the super-serious Band of Brothers series is one thing. Playing as an American in Call of Duty is another. In Broforce, though? I absolutely have to butcher the word, because there's too much fucking testosterone onscreen for me to consider writing it as anything other than 'Murrica. Fuck, yeah! Gonna liberate all them freedoms and democraticize – dermocr – I'MMA FIRE MY DEMOCRACY RAY ALL OVER DEM JUNGLE COMMIES, HURRKDRKGLRK.

(insert highly-virile, if pre-verbal grunts, along with the sounds of my simian self attempting to copulate with the nearest available orifice, nevermind how impractical or dangerous this may be)

Ahem.

In pure Arcade fashion, the game times you and measures how many vaguely threatening balaclava-wearing enemies you've blown to kingdom come. Combining both of these factors satisfactorily nets you a fairly high score, and that's what you're shooting for. At its purely minimal, though, the game is really about reaching the end-of-level flag, which actually is a hovering helicopter. Grab that, and your last controlled bro takes off, even as all the explosives you haven't detonated in the level go off simultaneously and a killer electric guitar solo plays you out. It's pixellized, there's blood everywhere, the soundtrack feels suitably Eighties Commando Warfare-ish, but the real draw is in how your extra lives are handled.

Across each level, you'll find tied and gagged prisoners that may or may not be stuck behind bars. Shoot or blow them free, and they'll all reveal themselves to be one of the Bros – basically a uber-simplified parody of your typical Action Flick Leading Man. Blade becomes Brade, John McLane becomes Bro Hard, Chuck Norris' Cordell Walker becomes Brodell Walker, McGuyver is rechristened as MacBrover – you get the idea. There's dozens of little pixelly packs of sheer man-juices for you to unlock, and not all of them control identically. MacBrover has no guns but can pull dynamite sticks out of nowhere. Brambo has his trusty machine gun, and John Matrix' Commando analogue, Brommando, packs his assault rifle and grenades. There's also B.A. Broacus, Bro Dredd, Bro in Black, Snake Broskin, the Brominator, Brobocop and my all-time favorite, Indiana Brones.

Hells yeah.

Beyond that, levels seem to procedurally generate, and you're really trying to keep going for as long as possible. Which, of course, becomes less and less possible as time passes. Just like any other self-respecting arcade game, you're playing for the score, not to reach some sort of ending.

I'd say the “brototype” is worth a look if you're up for something super-brainless, hyper-masculine and really easy. You don't get all the Bros, of course, but the game is available on Steam as a pre-order. Beta access nets you an infinity of levels, and about thirty Bros, last I checked, which unlock at different points.

Honestly, I'd say wait until it gets ported to iOS or until there's a massive sale that makes it down to less than two bucks. It's stupidly good fun, but there's not a lot of unique content to it. If you hate mindless action, you won't find much to love in Broforce. If you do love mindless action, however, you'll find a nice pick-me-up for these odd hours between the end of your workday and your suppertime.

I'm just sad there's no Broctor Who. That alone would have netted us a good thirteen or fourteen extra characters. Eh, our favourite Gallifreyan never was much of an eighties or nineties' action star, though.
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