To Archie
-
IamLEAM1983
- Site Admin
- Posts: 3710
- Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:54 am
- Location: Quebec, Canada
To Archie
You know what? With you, Gubbin, the Krampus, Arthur, Amazo and potentially the Jabberwock being stuck in your sartorial time period, I'm starting to think we should just consider you types as a kind of sub-team within Shield and its consultants and clients. The Top Hat Brigade or the Gibus Squad or something.
-
IamLEAM1983
- Site Admin
- Posts: 3710
- Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:54 am
- Location: Quebec, Canada
As Archie
"There's nothing quite like the old stovepipe, is there? It catches the eye and makes one's silhouette timeless, in accordance with some undying notions regarding the sort of men's wear that gentlemen of some manner of class or eccentricity are expected to display. Wear it straight as I do, and it becomes a symbol of stature and attained respect. Cock it to the side and a bit of a maverick's bent can be suggested. Place it wildly off-center, and one might wonder if you even remember putting it on! Enchant it with a stabilization cantrip and it'll fly off as you'll dash about only to snap right back into place, like Old Jack's cap. Then you'll evoke quite a few old cartoons in people's minds, in which the couvre-chef became as essential a tool of expression as one's eyebrows or lips.
During my more, well, lively days, I wasn't much of a hat-wearer. However, after learning that gifting me with a full head of transplanted human hair would only take for a few years and that constant upkeep would be required, I learned the value of having some decent form of head covering available. It helps that each hat tells a story, as well, and compartimentalizes its use as its own narrative framework. To put it simply, Archibald the Hope resident need not divulge extensive backstories regarding his time spent in the Serengeti. A mere glance of Holden Hall's pith helmet informs the visitor that Archibald the Hunter also occupies a significant place in this demesne. The spy that I am would wear all manner of hats, whereas Archibald Holden only requires two well-maintained gibuses."
During my more, well, lively days, I wasn't much of a hat-wearer. However, after learning that gifting me with a full head of transplanted human hair would only take for a few years and that constant upkeep would be required, I learned the value of having some decent form of head covering available. It helps that each hat tells a story, as well, and compartimentalizes its use as its own narrative framework. To put it simply, Archibald the Hope resident need not divulge extensive backstories regarding his time spent in the Serengeti. A mere glance of Holden Hall's pith helmet informs the visitor that Archibald the Hunter also occupies a significant place in this demesne. The spy that I am would wear all manner of hats, whereas Archibald Holden only requires two well-maintained gibuses."
-
IamLEAM1983
- Site Admin
- Posts: 3710
- Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:54 am
- Location: Quebec, Canada
To Archie
What's the silliest hat in your collection? The one you take out of the mothballs to grin at, or maybe to get a really brief surge of ancient shame...
-
IamLEAM1983
- Site Admin
- Posts: 3710
- Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:54 am
- Location: Quebec, Canada
As Archie
"Hm, I wouldn't rightly know...
For some reason, disclosing that I sleep with a night cap seems to amuse most of those who somehow segue into asking me about Clank sleepwear. I've received more than a few children's drawings that assumed I am in the habit of sleepwalking with a candle holdler held aloft, limbs stretching out more rigidly than in a military march, all the while snoring copiously...
Heh, children. Quixotic little beasts at any age, it seems.
Otherwise, my tricorn hat has always been a favorite of mine. I've obtained it shortly after my arrival in America and during my sadly brief stay in New York. I was dragged along to see a show of The Pirates of Penzance and treated to a bit of a backstage gabbing with the local thespians. One of them lent me his prop, and I'm rather ashamed to admit that I had a few glasses down the collar by then... I simply took it back to my hotel room in a fit of obliviousness, to later attempt to negotiate a discreet restitution. The dear man laughed the matter away, saying the production had covered for flubs such as this one: they had a dozen tricorns to spare.
Ah, but any fictitious Yankee muckraker would be worthless without his fedora or slouch hat, eh? I have a few of those and slip one on in certain quiet moments, to allow myself to work on my Elliott Ness impersonation...
The oddest of them all would have to be my Porkpie hat, however. If I am so unfortunate as to pair a certain set of eyeglasses with a snap-on goatee of mine, then complete strangers accost me in the streets and disturb my attempt at following a mark of mine - oftentimes calling me by the name of a German physicist... How odd!
That's when they don't point at me and scream Yeah, science, bitch!
I'm told this former offense has transitioned into a somewhat acceptable sobriquet in some circles - but come, now. Any decent fellow's initial instinct would be to straighten his spine, look the beckoner in the eye and ask him if he would kindly watch his language!
The scientific method is worthy of many accolades, this much is true, but this?!
This, I cannot grasp for the life of me. Shamus tells me I ought to purchase a fibre-optics package for our own personal use, or consider adding HBO to the break room's televized offerings. As if that had any bearing on the confounding use of crude words."
For some reason, disclosing that I sleep with a night cap seems to amuse most of those who somehow segue into asking me about Clank sleepwear. I've received more than a few children's drawings that assumed I am in the habit of sleepwalking with a candle holdler held aloft, limbs stretching out more rigidly than in a military march, all the while snoring copiously...
Heh, children. Quixotic little beasts at any age, it seems.
Otherwise, my tricorn hat has always been a favorite of mine. I've obtained it shortly after my arrival in America and during my sadly brief stay in New York. I was dragged along to see a show of The Pirates of Penzance and treated to a bit of a backstage gabbing with the local thespians. One of them lent me his prop, and I'm rather ashamed to admit that I had a few glasses down the collar by then... I simply took it back to my hotel room in a fit of obliviousness, to later attempt to negotiate a discreet restitution. The dear man laughed the matter away, saying the production had covered for flubs such as this one: they had a dozen tricorns to spare.
Ah, but any fictitious Yankee muckraker would be worthless without his fedora or slouch hat, eh? I have a few of those and slip one on in certain quiet moments, to allow myself to work on my Elliott Ness impersonation...
The oddest of them all would have to be my Porkpie hat, however. If I am so unfortunate as to pair a certain set of eyeglasses with a snap-on goatee of mine, then complete strangers accost me in the streets and disturb my attempt at following a mark of mine - oftentimes calling me by the name of a German physicist... How odd!
That's when they don't point at me and scream Yeah, science, bitch!
I'm told this former offense has transitioned into a somewhat acceptable sobriquet in some circles - but come, now. Any decent fellow's initial instinct would be to straighten his spine, look the beckoner in the eye and ask him if he would kindly watch his language!
The scientific method is worthy of many accolades, this much is true, but this?!
This, I cannot grasp for the life of me. Shamus tells me I ought to purchase a fibre-optics package for our own personal use, or consider adding HBO to the break room's televized offerings. As if that had any bearing on the confounding use of crude words."