The Razorgirl's Five Hundred Suitors

[IamLEAM1983]

Arthur's face parted in a slow and somewhat mellifluous smile at the sound of Mary's proffered compliments and he did seemed like he was about to unconsciously thrust his chest forward just a tad and come up with some sort of confusingly humble-yet-pretentious confirmation – but she just as quickly redirected matters onto the object of their visit. Whatever physical responses to ego-stroking had been waiting seemed to be shoved aside, his features returning to his previously playful hostility.

“Right down to brass tacks, eh? No time to soothe the aching heart of an under-appreciated actor – I see; I see how it's going to be...”

He turned and walked away. “Let's make tracks, first. I've done my rounds and I suppose my esteemed brother will appreciate it if I put some effort into dealing with my constituents from the Pedway. Seeing as you're short an exosuit, Hong Kong Mary, I'll humbly offer my own, erm, endownments, for the purpose of taking you back to heights that are a tad less subterranean. I'd offer to take you higher still – but something tells me Archie here would object, and that you'd be liable to make a shish-kebab out of me before the end.”

He produced a tsk sound. “Pity. There's nothing quite like the classic bite, my dear girl. That is, when it's as appreciated as it should be. Abducting undesirables and the lesser numbers in society's dreck is terribly nineteenth-century. I couldn't have imagined the thrill of consensual bites two hundred years ago, and I still have trouble believing in them.”

Before Jameson could oppose disgust or a sword's point, however, he raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I'm a cad, I know. A disgusting, abhorrent and disgraceful cad. The local walking grandfather clock, here, gives me that charade at least once a month since the Tree's awakened.”

The vampire's last few words were voiced in a suggestive purr. “I can't help it, precious. As a great man once said, I yam what I yam – and Alana's more than left me sensitive to headstrong, independent and self-assured career women. There's just – something in knowing that the object of your idle fancies could kill you if she wanted that's just oh-so tantalizing...”

Archie rolled his eyes. “Fun fact of the day : Arthur has yet to deal with a slayer such as yourself in any non-aggressive capacity. You would be his first, Marianna. Please don't mind the drool; the poor idiot loses all his wits in the presence of the fairer sex.”

[Karl the Mad]

"And here I thought it was just me and my charm," Mary replied, also rolling her eyes. "To be honest I'll be quite happy never to see an exosuit again; I've gotten to like being in control, you see, and wearing one of those? You aren't. It is."

She paused for effect, glancing at both Holden brothers in turn. "I really don't like being controlled, savvy?"