Dinner with a Werewolf

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IamLEAM1983
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Re: Dinner with a Werewolf

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Once under the old telescope's dome, Archie led Crystal to the alcove where his own maintenance-related needs were usually tended to. A few tools had been left there from the local Masterson workshop and the modern-day Clanksmen Archie had hired to stay on call, and they showed signs of having been used by Archie for everyday tweaks and little fixes.

"I had a few old gears and cogs left lying around and an old passion project that had been entrusted to me by Naughton Armatures' founders, shortly after I was knighted. It started out as their endearing attempt at a proof-of-concept before risking themselves at tampering with sentient souls, but the initial resident left this plane after a bout of hunting ruptured his phylactery... It lies empty for the moment, but chances are I could adapt my maintenance cradle to control it remotely..."

Lifting an old plastic milk carton, Archie revealed a beagle-shaped automaton, its floppy ears suggested by two leather flaps secured to the side of the head. Like in Archie's case, some amount of lifelike details had been sacrificed to give way to more space for Victorian embellishments, borderline Art Nouveau crests stretching along the machine's flanks and blending in with similar pastoral details sculpted in the brass. By the looks of things, Holden had spent some of his free time trying to put the mechanical dog back into working order and had been trying to buff off the accumulated verdigris patches. A pot of brass polish stood on the workbench, its pungent chemical scent striking the werewolf's nose.

Smirking, Archie pointed. "It has little attachment points across its frame, much like my face. In fact, it was originally delivered to me dressed in an adorable little set of clothes, top hat included. They've obviously decayed since then; I'll have to speak to a tailor... The voice box is compatible with human speech after a few modifications, I've replaced some of the fixed joints with freely-rotating ones to allow for more anthropomorphized gestures and I recovered some of my old eyebrow spindles and gears for the purpose of giving it more emotional range."

He leaned on the counter. "I was thinking we could delay our acting like a couple by a day or two, at least long enough so I can finish refurbishing Archie Junior. Then I could use my maintenance cradle to connect to it without leaving this body. I'd then quite literally trot along, dressed to the nines, and claim that I love you so much that I've decided to abandon my human armature for this one. I would say that I prefer frolicking along with your wolf than skulking in the city's shadows with my blades drawn, and that they're all going to do quite well without my involvement.

If I'm not needed, then who honestly cares?" he said, chuckling. "Of course, you would have to play along for at least a day, maybe by coming up with convoluted reasons as to why a harmless mechanical beagle that can talk is more useful than a trained and equipped humanoid spy and assassin. We'd watch the youngsters panic for a few hours, pretending not to care, and would then put an end to this at the first sign of serious concern. I would then walk out of the observatory as if nothing had happened and watch as they would attempt to kill me out of sudden spite," he said, laughing.
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TennyoCeres84
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Re: Dinner with a Werewolf

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Wrinkling her nose from the smell of the brass polish, Crystal then snickered. "That's a superb idea, Archie. As long as you're sure a spirit won't hijack your armature, I'll play along. And the idea of your new body in a canine top hat and spats is both amusing and adorable." She smirked. "So would I think need to purchase canned dog food for you at the grocery store, or would Bagley be willing to prepare some gourmet food for his boss' new body?" she joked.
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Re: Dinner with a Werewolf

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Archie scoffed. "We might as well have some dog kibble on the side for effect, but I'll be damned if I should be forced to ingest it for the sake of a simple prank! No, I'd much rather stick to my developed palate," he joked. "This dog is going to request fine dining, let me tell you, and nothing else!"
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Re: Dinner with a Werewolf

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Crystal applauded and laughed at the thought of a talking mechanical canine requesting human food with the haughtiness of a English lord. "So would I start saying, "Here. Archie! Here, boy!" and rubbing your belly?" she teased, poking his abdomen.
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Re: Dinner with a Werewolf

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"Perhaps," replied the Clank, smirking. "I was thinking I could proclaim that your wolf is now my personal steed. After all, if I've now elected a mechanical beagle as my new shell, I'll need help for longer distances," he suggested, "short legs being what they are."

Something then seemed to light up his eyes. "We could trot down the hillock to the manor's entrance, my sitting atop your back like a knight on its faithful companion! I've still a few old saddles from my horseback-riding days; chances are I could also hack one to fit on a wolf's back without being too uncomfortable."
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Re: Dinner with a Werewolf

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Crystal folded her arms over her chest and thrust her chin up. "A wolf cannot be saddled," she answered defiantly. She then smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry; I'll play along. This is looking to be an excellent hoax in the making."
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Re: Dinner with a Werewolf

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"I thought you'd agree," he replied, a bit of an impish grin touching his features. "As for your lupine ego; something tells me she would've made her opinion rather clear by now, had there been any serious objections. As for wolves never being ridden or saddled, the Elves of Pickman's Sound might appreciate having a bit of a discussion with you, in regards to the more obscure and less-documented parts of Faerie folklore..."

Still leaning on the workbench, he crossed his arms in front of him. "The Little People might be nimble and particularly strong, the fact remains that their legs are rather short...

Long before the word of Christ reached the British Isles, Feargus O'Sullivan's ancestors fashioned small platforms using fine cross-sections of tree trunks. Benches would be carved into the wood, with tiny leather strips serving as seat belts. It then fell to the Tir Na Nog to converse with the local nature spirits and brook some sort of transportation agreement. Wolves, rabbits, beavers or woodchucks - anything that was wide enough to possibly hold an action figure on its back, in terms of size, was put to contribution. Entire miniature bus lines crisscrossed Britain, Scotland and Ireland, the cabins and all its fittings Veiled to mortal eyes.

All the Elves had truly done involved seizing the opportunity offered by the local wolf packs' hunting patterns. The animals kept hunting or proceeded as usual even as they held up tiny humanoids, their passengers simply hopping off or on as desired."
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Re: Dinner with a Werewolf

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"I'm wondering if some of those wolves the Elves rode were actually Faoladh, Irish werewolves," Crystal mused. "Besides O' Sullivan, how familiar are you with the Elves in Hope? Most of them are hard-working and decent folk, but some of them, well, aren't," she asked.
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Re: Dinner with a Werewolf

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"I've some familiarity with the local Elves," he explained, "but nothing approaching personal relations. I've apprehended my share of Samhain-obsessed Little People who were dead-set on costing Old Jack a head and sometimes found myself swatting an overly enthusiastic young and doll-sized Wiccan for sneaking in the Centennial Park by the cover of darkness, whittling blade in hand."

He scoffed amusedly. "Feargus once explained to me that the Little People tend not to develop a strong moral compass. They never act spitefully and mean streaks are a rarity among them, but the concept of ancestral rites being made illegal thanks to the dryads' right of Habeas Corpus is difficult for them to understand. It takes a special kinship with mortalkind for them to realize that no, some people wouldn't appreciate having their houses aggressively redecorated, redesigned or cleaned without their express consent, and that nature spirits are not willed into corporeality for the sake of being seasonally tortured because haha, look at how Greene's stem flew off, this shotgun is brilliant!" he explained, momentarily dropping into the Kilkenny boys' pointed Irish accent as he finished.

Holden shrugged. "Oblivious, overgrown children - except for those who were forced to live in close proximity to people like you or I. Whimsy comes in short supply in the realms of adult responsibilities, which would also explain why so many Elves are part of Wyvern's desk-job targets. They simply haven't the mind to handle anything like taxes, so they routinely commit fraud without being aware of it."
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Re: Dinner with a Werewolf

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Crystal scoffed. "But they manage, as do we all," she summed up. "Though, just be careful if you ever have a case involving the Elves. They'd toss you around like a rag doll," she casually warned.
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